Sometimes if you see your ex in a dream, it means that you just want to have what you had with them. A lot of people (myself included) think this means that they are still in love with them. People often dream about their exes for years after they break up. But what we actually see is usually very open to interpretation. Psychologists have been saying for decades that dreams are our wish fulfillment. In Your Dreams, They Take On A Generic Boyfriend/Girlfriend Role, Instead Of Being Themselves. But by the time it does, you’ll want to keep making these improvements simply because you like this version of yourself.Ĥ. And honestly, that fire you get from being mad at your ex will eventually burn out. There’s a difference between trying to be the best person you can be for another person, and being the best you can be to prove something to someone. As I said earlier, love shouldn’t be a competition. It will only make you run further and faster.īut again, this isn’t love. So go ahead, think about your ex while you’re going for that run. Nothing lights a fire under our asses like the desire to prove something to someone, especially when that person has hurt or wronged us in some way. I would even go so far as to say that it’s ok to want to improve yourself to spite your ex. It’s often a very beneficial process for people to go through.
YOURE IN MYTHOUGHTS PUCS UPDATE
People get new haircuts, they update their wardrobe, they get in shape, they go after a promotion at their jobs, etc. Once the initial depression stage of the breakup is over, however long it takes, it’s very common for people to want to become the best versions of themselves. That is obsession, and that is the opposite of healthy behavior. If you are constantly calling and texting your ex, and not getting the hint, that isn’t love either. *Note: This should go without saying, but the opposite is also true. If you love someone then you’re willing to put forget your pride, and face whatever fears you have, and go to them yourself. It isn’t a contest to see who can hold out the longest. You want their pride to break first.īut love isn’t a power struggle. You want that self-satisfying knowledge that they came running back to you. You just want them to come back so you can feel better about yourself. If you want them to come to you, but are unwilling to go to them, then you don’t love them. Why is that? What stops us from contacting them ourselves? Is it pride? Or fear? Or both? Ultimately it doesn’t matter. We constantly check and stare at our various communication devices, praying that they will call. Whenever we see the little green dot on gchat/facebook messenger that says they’re online, we stare at it like we’re Jay Gatsby staring at the green light at the end of Daisy Buchanan’s dock. We sleep with our phones within arms reach, and we look for texts from them the moment we wake up. You Want Nothing More Than For Them To Contact You, But You Don’t Want To Contact Them Even if them being happy means that they need to be with someone who isn’t you. You want them to be as happy as possible. When you love someone, you want the best for them. If you still loved your ex, you be understandably depressed if they were with someone else, but you still wouldn’t want their current relationship to fail. I know what you’re thinking, “Of course I want (insert ex’s name here)’s relationship to fail, because I love him/her and I want them to be with me!” Now while you might want nothing more than for your ex to leave the person they are with and come back to you, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you still love them. You Want Their Current Relationship To Fail So if you’re feeling confused here are a few signs that you aren’t still in love with your ex, even if you think that you are. Sometimes realizing that the feelings you’ve been having aren’t love is a huge step in getting over your ex. So when you’re in your room alone on a Friday night, thinking about your ex with a bottle of Jack Daniels listening to ‘that song’ over and over again, maybe it’s time to take a breath and evaluate the kinds of thoughts you’ve been having. It can be difficult to sort out any feelings you have, but especially the feelings toward your ex. And as easy as it is to know that you are in love, it is also easy to mistake certain feelings for love, especially after a breakup.Īfter a break up (especially if you are the one who got dumped) your thoughts and emotions are all over the place. It is for this reason that love is also the most complicated of all the emotions. Whenever you ask someone what it feels like to be in love, they always struggle to come up with a good answer. And yet, no one can really explain what it’s like to be in love. People always say that when you are in love you just know.